I called it quits!

Alrigty so after my mastitis and abscess on the right breast, I was finally excited that maybe I could enjoy breastfeeding. It had finally gotten better and I was feeling good. But then the left side started burning. I did some dr google research and found out that a symptom for thrush was burning deep inside which is what I was feeling. I was trying some home remedies and decided that's what was going on. The next week I had my 6 week post partum check up with my OB. I mentioned the pain I was having and she looked at it, and said it wasn't thrush but looked like a clogged duct that was turning into mastitis... And gave me another round of antibiotics. Awesome right? So from Wednesday to Saturday I massaged, pumped, used hot compresses like no ones business. I could NOT get any milk out for the life of me. I was pushing as hard as I could, and doing everything you could imagine to get the duct cleared. Well, eventually more than half my breast was clogged up. I couldn't get much milk out of that side at all, and it was frustrating! Olivia was hating life, would scream cause she was hungry, and I was hating life and in crazy amounts of pain (and on the third round of antibiotics and the redness wasn't going away!) Well, we were iced in, because of a storm on thurs... But by Sunday I was in soooo much pain I couldn't take it anymore and headed to urgent care to get some medicine for pain and possibly on a new antibiotic. They were awesome! And told me to stop nursing on that side if it was frustrating livvy, and to pump pump pump! Well, by the end of that day, I was drained, frustrated, and my baby hated life. Screaming all day long. 

I called it quits. That doesn't make me a bad mommy. I actually feel really good about my decision and here's why. Olivia has been spitting up A LOT since she was 2 weeks old. She's also had terrible gas and tummy aches from the same age on. Since I started her on formula, she definitely spits up less, and is more satisfied and happier throughout the day! The difference is like night and day! I'm convinced that since she was 10 days old my milk has been making her sick. (I had been on three round of antibiotics after all!) 

So, now I have lots of pumped milk... But am scared to use it!!! Oh well. I'll try it eventually! But, overall, can I just say how much happier this mama and baby are? Yay! I'm STARTING to feel like my normal self again :)